I have a confession.
Sometimes when I research or begin to talk about anxiety, I begin to feel extremely anxious. At times, it almost feels crippling. I’m not sure why this happens, but it does. Anytime I attempt to learn more about anxiety, it becomes extremely difficult to do so. For example, I’m sitting here on my yoga mat on my floor with YouTube on my TV screen and I type in anxiety. As soon as I type in the word anxiety, I begin to feel anxious. I tell myself it’s OKAY you’ve been here before just keep going. I begin to scroll through and I see anxiety disorders, managing anxiety during Covid, generalized anxiety disorder, CBT approach, recognizing and treating anxiety; but yet i’m unable to click on any of the videos.
Now I will say, most times when I become curious and want to learn more, it’s late at night. And typically, nighttime is the hardest time for me. Maybe, I should try doing research and educating myself more about anxiety during the daytime and see what happens. I’m writing this blog post because I’m wondering if I’m the only person who goes through this? I can recall having anxiety for about a year and a half, probably even longer and in that time I haven’t been able to educate myself as much as I want to because of this. What I do know about anxiety, I’ve learned through my personal experiences and from my therapist. But, like I said it’s really hard and sometimes debilitating to educate myself on it. What I will say is, I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep fighting and I’m going keep trying to figure this out. I know I’ll get through this, but this post was necessary. It’s been a long time coming. Super thankful for talk to text because without that feature this post wouldn’t have happened. I really hope that this post helps somebody else especially in knowing that they’re not alone!